Confidence or Courage, which comes first?

tl;dr It’s courage. Also, confidence. But mostly courage.

Until today, I believed that confident people made courageous acts and that I needed to work on my self-confidence to step out of my comfort zone. It’s not completely wrong but not complete. I was always thinking confidence is coming from competence and kept trying to improve myself or perfect things before sharing them with the public. That almost always resulted in not sharing at all or sharing too late.

Sometimes it was a draft blog post, a half-baked side project, or just a simple argument in a meeting. Putting my work out for people to see and perhaps judge me give feedback to me, or saying something in a meeting that is not well-thought has always been a challenge for me. To be honest, it’s a challenge I often failed to overcome. I failed, then I circled back to thinking I lack self-confidence and it’s hindering me from doing the things I want to do. Again, not completely wrong but I was failing to pinpoint the exact problem, the root cause that I could address today, instead of falling back into the cycle of attempting to build self-confidence in isolation. I realise, I need to step out of my comfort zone, I need to embrace courage. Maybe this is not a big surprise to you, but it was to me—an ‘Aha!’ moment. Confidence is the outcome of a series of couragous acts throughout our lives.

Of course, it’s easier to be brave once you’ve established a foundational layer of confidence, so it’s not as simple as saying courage comes first. They both support each other, but without being courageous -doing things even when you’re afraid of the outcomes- you can’t be self-confident. First step is the hardest and courage is what helps you to take that first step.

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When I was looking online, I came across a really good article on this topic at HBR

1) Don’t underestimate the impact of small, yet significant, acts of courage.
2) Practice courageous acts in all areas of your life.
3) Try again tomorrow.

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courage, noun That quality of mind which shows itself in facing danger without fear or shrinking; bravery, boldness, valour.

confidence, noun The mental attitude of trusting in or relying on a person or thing; firm trust, reliance, faith.